Note: This article doesn't have the right to copy from the author of Business Correspondence.  I post this translation just for my own test skill.

Chapter 2    What Is A Good Business Letter?

第二章 何谓优秀的商业信函?

 

Business letters deal with so many subjects and are written in so many different circumstances that it seems impossible to answer this question with a strict definition applicable to all letters.

商业信函应用在不同的领域和许多不同的环境之中,对所有信函而言,严格定义之下很难回答这个问题。

Dealing with the question in a loose way, we may say, however, that a business letter is ‘good’ if the following conditions are met:

但是宽松地来处理这个问题,我们可以说,“优秀”的商业信函符合以下几点:

1)     The letter indicates that the writer has a good grasp of his subject-matter.

1)     信函要显示写信人对他的主题有深刻了解。

2)     The letter contains everything that needs to be said and nothing that needs to be omitted.

2)     信函应包括了所有需要提及的事情,没有罗嗦的言语。

3)     The letter contains no mistakes of fact.

3)     信函没有错误事实。

4)     The letter is written by someone who has a clear understanding of his purpose in writing the letter. In other words, the writer knows exactly what he wants to achieve by writing.

4)     写信人必须对写信的目的清晰明了,也就是他必须知道所要达到的目的。

5)     The presentation of the message of the letter is clear. The reader sees without difficulty what the facts are and what he should think or do. Thus it is not enough for the writer to collect all the facts of the matter: in addition he has not done his work well, the reader will ask such questions as ‘What is the point of this letter?’, ‘Can they or can’t they supply me?’ or ‘Is it all right or isn’t it?’.

5)     信函内容的表达必须清楚。读者对事情的了解没有困难和明白写信人的意图。因此写信人只是罗列内容是不够的:如果没有写好,读者会问这样的问题:“这封信的重点是什么?”,“他们能还是不能提供?”或者“是否良好还是不是?”。

6)     The tone of the letter is appropriate. The letter ‘rings true’.

6)     信函应有合适的语调。至少看起来真实。

7)     The writer has considered the needs and the business situation of the reader. There is thus a greater chance that the reader will read the letter to the end with interest.

7)     写信人必须考虑读者的需求和经济环境。这样就能让读者带着兴趣通读整封信。

8)     The writer is as positive, helpful and constructive as circumstances allow him to be. The reader sees that his business situation has been considered by the writer and he (the reader) responds to the message of the letter as favorably as circumstances allow him to respond. We cannot always do what the reader wants but we can always show him that his side of the business has been considered.

8)     写信人应该在环境允许范围之下显得主动、帮助和建设性的姿态。收信人能够得知他自己的情况已经被写信人考虑,回信也会在真实情况下的反应。我们并不能够每次都满足客户的需求,但是应该让客户得知我们已经考虑他所在的处境。

Having studied conditions that should be met if a business letter is to be a ‘good’ letter, we may ask ‘Can a letter be unsuccessful because of things over which the writer has no control, things for which he cannot be held responsible?’. The answer is certainly ‘Yes.’. Here are some reasons:

一封信是否是好的商业信函必须符合一些必要条件,我们可以问:“一封不成功的信是否是事情超出了写信人的控制范围,或者是不能够负责任?”答案当然是。下面是一些原因:

1)     If the writer’s aim is to secure acceptance of an opinion or to persuade the reader to act, the facts of the matter may be so strongly against the writer that no argument presented by him will move the reader.

1)     如果写信人的目标是阐明观点或者是劝说收信人,实际的情况是与写信人愿望相反,就是他表现出来的不可商议。

2)     Though the writer had made about the reader every inquiry that he was able to make, there is still a fact about the reader and his business, a fact unknown to the writer, that must be taken into account before a successful letter can be written. The writer has not got that fact and consequently his letter cannot be successful.

2)     尽管写信人能够回答收信人的疑问,但仍有一些关于收信人和其生意的情况,一些写信人不知道的情况,这些都是一封成功信函所应包含的。如果一封信不包括这些要点,那么就可以确定该信是不成功的。

3)     The reader has omitted, intentionally or unintentionally, to put certain information before the writer. Without that information the writer cannot write a successful letter.

3)     收信人有意或无意的忽略一些重要情况。没有这些写信人就不能写出成功的信函。

4)     Immediately after the writer has sent his letter the circumstances of the reader change in such a way that the letter becomes more or less inapplicable.

4)     就在写信人发出信函后,收信人的环境发生变化,这封信也就变得不太适用。

5)     Because of circumstances unknown to the writer the reader has insufficient time in which to act on the letter.

5)     因为写信人不清楚具体情况,收信人没有足够的时间来处理信函。

6)     There is, unforeseen by the writer, some lack of understanding on the part of the reader or some fear, bias, eccentricity or perverseness on his part of which the writer is not aware.

6)     还有,一些写信人无法预料的事情,比如收信人的不理解,或者恐惧、偏见、偏激和不正当等等。

 

Exercise 2-A

Below are two versions of a reply of an insurance company to a bank’s request for details of a life assurance. The policy is to be assigned to the bank.

下面是两封由保险公司应银行要求回复的生命保险信函范本。政策是由银行指派。

Compare the first version with the second and determine why the first is superior. Since the correspondence is routine correspondence between two financial organizations do you agree that a ‘complimentary’ or goodwill final paragraph is unnecessary?

比较两封信,考虑为什么第一封得体(第二封没有列出)。既然信件是两个财政机关之间的日常通信,你认为问候式或者最后的敬语是否不需要了?

Dear Sirs

Assurance on the Life of K.L.Poon

The information requested in your letter of 21 May is as follow:

Full name of life assured:                     Kenneth Lawrence Poon

Full name of assured:                          Kenneth Lawrence Poon

Number of policy:                                2593480

Date of assurance:                              14 January 1959

Class of assurance:                            Endowment assurance payable on 14 January 1997 or previous death

Sum assured:                                     $150,000

Reversionary bonus allocated to date:   $405,300

Present surrender value:               $366,500

Assignments recorded:                        None

The premiums are paid up to date.

Yours faithfully

 

Exercise 2-B

Examine a series of letters, or at least a letter and the reply to it, and determine how successfully the writers have corresponded.

检查一些信件,或者至少一封信以及它的回信,看看是否符合好求。

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